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Modly post - HARRY POTTER TELEGRAMS STOP [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Cracktastic Harry Potter Telegrams

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Modly post [Aug. 20th, 2005|04:38 pm]
Cracktastic Harry Potter Telegrams
hp_telegrams
[amberthefool]
[Tags|]
[Mood |embarrassedembarrassed]

Erm, it seems that I forgot to clarify this in the userinfo, but I have done so for future reference:

Friending the community is fine, of course. We'll be very flattered.
Joining the community is also fine. Double the flattery.
However, joining does not mean instant posting access. We will only be giving posting access to those who email us and ask. This is our way of making sure that we only give posting access to those who do actually plan on posting HP Telegrams to the community regularly.

Sorry for any confusion this may have caused. I hope this will have cleared things up for the future :)

And to finish this post with a telegram:

DEAR HOPEFUL MEMBERS STOP IF YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO TYPE LIKE THIS ON OUR COMMUNITY THEN WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IS RELATIVELY SIMPLE STOP SIMPLY SEND US TWO SACRIFICIAL GOATS FROM WHICH I SHALL MAKE CURRY STOP AND A COUPLE OF VIRGINS FOR _typingmonkey_ WHO DOES NOT LIKE CURRY STOP SEND ALL THESE THINGS TO HP STOP TELEGRAMS AT GMAIL STOP COM AND WE WILL ALLOW YOU TO BEGIN POSTING LIKE THIS RIGHT AWAY STOP LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR TELEGRAMS SOON STOP LOVE STOP YOUR MODTHING STOP
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: cibeles
2005-08-20 03:55 pm (UTC)
Voldemort to the Mods:
HOW CAN YOU MODERATE POSTING ACCESS STOP MY HAHAHAHAHAH POWER WILL OF COURSE WIN AND I WILL HAVE POSTING ACCESS TO CLEAR UP PROBLEMS STOP SO YOU GUYS NEED TO STOP STOP FUCKING STOP AROUND STOP WITH THIS 'LIVEJOURNAL' BUSINESS AND GIVE US DECENT AND BADASS CHARACTERS A CHANCE STOP

LET THE POTTER BOY DO WHAT HE LIKES STOP JUST DO NOT SLANDER ME STOP HAHAHAHAHA STOP

PS STOP THE SACRIFICIAL VIRGINS AND GOATS ARE ON THEIR WAY STOP

--

That really does mean thanks for being nice mods and I will definitely be pimping this place on my flist even though I don't have real plans for real posts other than silly comment things. *bounces about*
(Reply) (Thread)
From: amberthefool
2005-08-20 04:23 pm (UTC)
Mods to Voldemort:

STFU STOP GO AND SIT IN YOUR SEAT UNTIL IT IS YOUR TURN STOP AND PLAY NICE WITH THE OTHER KIDS STOP WE DO GIVE BADASS CHARACTERS A CHANCE STOP GOOD LOOKING ONES THAT IS STOP FOR EXAMPLE LUSCIOUS LUCIUS STOP WE ARE NOT SLANDERING YOU STOP STOP BEING SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN STOP OR I SHALL LET LOOSE THE MARY SUES ON YOU AGAIN STOP

PEE STOP ESS STOP VERY GOOD STOP HOW MUCH CURRY DO YOU AND THE DEATH EATERS WANT THIS TIME STOP WE ARE KEEPING THE VIRGINS FOR OURSELVES STOP

PEE STOP PEE STOP ESS STOP YOUR EVIL LAUGH IS STILL LAME STOP


Your funniness added to the sexy icon of doom ensures that if you do eventually apply for posting access, you're so getting in ;)

And the pimping is muchly appreciated. We need all the pimping we can get XD
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: cibeles
2005-08-20 04:30 pm (UTC)
Voldemort to the Mods -

I DO NOT PLAY WITH OTHER CHILDREN NICELY STOP DO YOU REALISE WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO QUESTION MARK STOP YOU SUCK LIKE A KID EATING A LOLLIPOP SUCK BADASS CHARACTERS ARE COOLER THAN YOU AND WE DO UNFORGIVABLE CURSES UNLIKE YOU STOP MUGGLES STOP WHO INSIST ON MAKING US LOOK USELESS AND INCAPABLE OF BASIC HUMAN FUNCTIONS BEYOND MANIPULATIVE SEX IN FANFICTION AND ANGST STOP I AM SO MUCH BETTER LOOKING THAN LUSCIOUS LUCIUS THAT IF YOU EVER SAW ME IN MY REAL FORM STOP YOU MIGHT DIE OF PRETTY STOP

STOP

STOP

STOP

MARY SUES QUESTION MARK STOP

YOU ARE ALL EVIL MUGGLES AND I HATE YOUR GUTS STOP AND THAT IS A VERY FOUL AND MEAN THREAT STOP

PS STOP I WANT LOTS OF CURRY AND IT HAD BETTER BE GOOD BECAUSE IF IT IS NOT I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND THEN I WILL AVADA KEDAVRA YOUR ASS SEVEN WAYS TO SUNDAY STOP

PPS MY EVIL LAUGH QUESTION MARK STOP AHAHAHAHAHAH STOP YOU'RE NOT FUNNY STOP

PPPS STOP GO TO HELL IN THE MOST VIOLENT POSSIBLE WAY STOP AND WHILE YOU'RE THERE GET SOME OF THE CURRY LUCIFER MAKES STOP IT'S VERY GOOD AND I SO RARELY GET TO SEE HIM STOP


It's really tempting to join. >.> Oh hell. *headdesk* This whole typing in caps with the 'stop' thing is really, really entertaining. I changed my mind. Posting access plzkthx stop
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: amberthefool
2005-08-20 10:01 pm (UTC)
Mods to Voldemort:

DEAR VOLDY STOP HEAR THERE ARE GOOD SPELLS FOR PMS NOWADAYS STOP SUGGEST YOU GO LEARN THEM STOP LUCIUS PWNS YOU ANYDAY STOP IF YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT MARY SUES ARE THEN I SHALL JUST HAVE TO GET YOU ONE STOP MWAHAHAHAHA STOP

PEE STOP ESS STOP FINE FINE HAVE THE BLOODY CURRY STOP YOU DO REALISE THAT I SAY BLOODY IN A METAPHORICAL SENSE STOP I HOPE STOP

PEE STOP PEE STOP ESS STOP YOUR EVIL LAUGH COULD NOT SCARE MY COUSIN'S RABBIT'S BET GERBIL STOP HAHAHA STOP

PEE STOP PEE STOP PEE STOP ESS STOP MY CURRY PWNS HIS ANYDAY STOP HE SAYS HE LOOKS FORWARD TO SEEING YOU IN A LITTLE LESS THAN A YEAR STOP SUGGEST YOU GO LOOK UP ON WHAT THAT POTTER KID IS DOING STOP HAHA STOP

*gives access* Glad to have you on board ;)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: cibeles
2005-08-20 11:34 pm (UTC)
Voldemort to the Mods -

WTF YOU BITCHES STOP I NEVER HAD PMST IN MY LIFE STOP THAT IS OFFENSIVE AND INSINUATES THAT I HAVE THE SEX ORGANS OF A WOMAN WHICH I DO NOT STOP AND IT INSINUATES THAT IF I WERE A WOMAN I WOULD SOMEHOW HAVE NOT FIGURED OUT HOW TO STOP SAID PMS STOP LUCIUS IS A LITTLE HOOKER AND I ONLY KEEP HIM BECAUSE HE SEXES ME UP HE'S A FAITHFUL MAN STOP

I DO NOT WANT A MARY SUE STOP I DO NOT WANT ONE SAM I AM STOP I KNOW FULL WELL WHAT THEY ARE AND I FEEL THAT YOU MUST DIE FOR EVEN SUGGESTING SUCH AWFUL TORMENT STOP

PS STOP THANK THE CURRY WILL BE GOOD BUT IF I WANT BLOOD THEN I WILL GET SOME STOP

PPS STOP IT MUST BE A BRAVE LITTLE GERBIL OR POSSIBLY DEAF STOP

PPPS STOP LUCIFER MAKES THE BEST CURRY AROUND STOP JUST ASK BELLATRIX STOP SHE HAD DINNER WITH HIM THE OTHER DAY STOP THEY MADE CURRY AND NOT IN THE SEXUAL SENSE IF YOU THINK ALL COOKING IS A SEX METAPHOR STOP I MEAN STOP I SURE DON'T STOP

PPPPS STOP YOU SUCK HARDER THAN RODOLPHUS STOP

PPPPPS STOP GO DIE STOP

PPPPPPS STOP I LIKE THE LETTER P STOP
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: amberthefool
2005-08-21 11:20 am (UTC)
Mods to Voldemort:

DEAR VOLDY STOP SUGGEST YOU TAKE TELEGRAMS TO DOCTOR AND USE AS PROOF OF PMS STOP WE ARE NOT INSINUATING FEMALE GENITAL ORGANS ON ANY PARTS OF YOUR BODY STOP WE DO NOT THINK YOU HAVE ANY GENITALIA WHATSOEVER STOP EVEN IF YOU DID IT WOULD BE TINY STOP AND THIS IS WHY WE LIKE LUCIUS BETTER STOP LUCIUS IS ONLY FAITHFUL TO GOOD CURRY AND FINE WOMEN STOP YOU ARE AN EXAMPLE OF NEITHER STOP HAHA AT YOU STOP

YOU ARE A MARY SUE STOP YOU WERE STRIKINGLY GOOD LOOKING AND WORE PLUM COLOURED ROBES AND EVERYONE WANTED TO SEX YOU UP WORSHIPPED YOU STOP YOU WERE TOTALLY PWNING THE WORLD AS A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD STOP PITY THE PLASTIC SURGERY WENT WRONG STOP

PEE STOP ESS STOP YOU ARE A DARK LORD STOP NOT A VAMPIRE STOP

PEE STOP PEE STOP ESS STOP THE GERBIL IS SEXIER THAN YOU STOP

PEE STOP PEE STOP PEE STOP ESS STOP LUCIFER DOES NOT EVEN LIKE YOU ANY MORE STOP HE SAYS YOUR CRAZED RAVINGS BORE HIM STOP AND THAT THERE IS ONLY PLACE FOR ONE DARK LORD STOP HIM STOP OUR SEX CURRY IS BETTER THAN HIS ANYDAY STOP

PEE STOP PEE STOP PEE STOP PEE STOP ESS STOP CORRECTION STOP WE SUCK BETTER THAN RODOLPHUS STOP OR BELLATRIX FOR THAT MATTER STOP

PEE STOP PEE STOP PEE STOP PEE STOP PEE STOP ESS STOP WE HAVE MORE MATURITY THAN TO DESCEND TO YOUR LEVEL OF CHILDISH INSULTS STOP GO TERRORISE A GERBIL OR SOMETHING STOP

PEE STOP PEE STOP PEE STOP PEE STOP PEE STOP PEE STOP PEE STOP ESS STOP WE HAD NOT NOTICED STOP CHILD STOP

And if you round this off with a nice Avada Kedavra, I'll totally make a new post for it *grin*
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: cibeles
2005-08-22 01:42 pm (UTC)
Voldemort to the Mods -

MY PENIS IS BIGGER THAN THE PENIS OF ANY OTHER WIZARD STOP I NEED NO PENIS ENLARGEMENT OR HELP WITH IT STOP YOU ARE NOT NICE AND THEREFORE DO NOT GET THE PRIVELEGE STOP HAHAHAHAHAHA STOP SUCKS TO BE YOU STOP AND WHY WOULD I WANT TO BE GOOD CURRY STOP JUST BECAUSE I EAT IT DOES NOT MEAN I WILL TURN INTO A SLITHERING SPICY MASS OF FOOD STOP

STOP THE MARY SUE TORTURE STOP PLEASE STOP IT IS SO UNFAIR AND I DO NOT THINK I DESERVE SUCH FOUL TREATMENT STOP YOU ON THE OTHER HAND ARE CRUEL AND MEAN AND UNWORTHY OF SO MUCH AS A FRIENDLY SMILE STOP

PS STOP AT LEAST I GOT OVER THE UNICORN BLOOD STOP THAT SHIT TASTED LIKE SHIT STOP

PSS STOP YOU ARE A SICK PERSON STOP WHY WOULD YOU LUST AFTER GERBILS STOP

PSSS STOP LUCIFER TALKS IN THIRD PERSON SO OBVIOUSLY HE'S TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF STOP YES THAT MUST BE RIGHT STOP JUST TALKING IN THIRD PERSON STOP HEH HEH HEH STOP

PSSSS STOP REALLY STOP CARE TO PROVE THAT STOP

PSSSSS STOP I TERRORISE HUMANS NOT ANIMALS STOP YOU HINT THAT I AM INCAPABLE OF ANYTHING BUT MERE CHILD'S PLAY STOP AND THAT IS REALLY JUST NOT FAIR STOP I KILLED THE FREAKING POTTERS STOP ISN'T THAT ENOUGH?

PSSSSSS STOP THE CHILD COMMENTS HAVE GOT TO STOP STOP

I WILL AVADA KEDAVRA YOU IF I EVER MEET YOU IN PERSON STOP CURSES DO NOT WORK VIA THE INTERNETS STOP WHICH IS GOOD FOR ME SO I CAN HAVE THE PLEASURE OF WATCHING YOU ALL DIE STOP

HA HA HA HA STOP
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: amberthefool
2005-08-22 03:40 pm (UTC)
Mods to Voldemort:

DO NOT LIE STOP WE HAVE PICTURES OF YOU LEAVING THAT CLINIC STOP WITH KATIE HOLMES STOP IT APPEARS THAT TOM CRUISE IS NOT THE ONLY PSYCHOPATH WITH A MIDLIFE CRISIS WHO LUSTS AFTER TWEENAGE GIRLS STOP IF WE ARE UNWORTHY THEN IT IS A GOOD THING THAT YOU DO NOT DO FRIENDLY SMILES STOP ON THAT NOTE HYPHEN GET SOME GOOD VENEERS STOP SUGGEST YOU FIND HILLARY DUFF AND ASK FOR ADVICE STOP

DO NOT WORRY STOP THE MARY SUES WILL LEAVE ONCE THEY FIND OUT YOU HAVE BAD BREATH IN THE MORNINGS STOP LUSCIOUS TOLD US THIS STOP SUGGEST YOU ALSO PURCHARE TOOTHBRUSH STOP

PEE STOP ESS STOP YOUR PEE STOP ESSES ARE LAME STOP WE ARE NOT THE ONES WHO LUST AFTER GERBILS STOP OH YES STOP WE HAVE SEEN THE PICTURES FROM THE NIGHT OF YOUR ROMP WITH YOUR NIECE APOSTROPHE S PET STOP YOU SICKO STOP ALTHOUGH THE GERBIL SEEMED A BIT DISAPPOINTED ABOUT YOUR SIZE STOP AHAHAHA STOP

PEE STOP PEE STOP ESS STOP THE ONLY PERSON TALKING IN THIRD PERSON IS YOU WHEN YOU USE THE USERNAME LOVEVOLDY69 AT THE VOLDEMORTFANGIRL COMMUNITY STOP DO NOT THINK THAT WE HAVE NOT GUESSED THAT ALL THE COMMENTS ARE FROM YOU STOP

PEE STOP PEE STOP PEE STOP ESS STOP COMMENTS WILL STOP WHEN YOU STOP ACTING LIKE A CHILD STOP BY THE WAY STOP OVERLONG OBSESSION WITH POTTER MAKING YOU LOOK SO GAY STOP COLOUR COORDINATED WARDROBE NOT HELPING STOP ABDUCTION OF MALFOY CHILD NOT HELPING UNFAVOURABLE COMPARISONS TO TOM CRUISE EITHER STOP HE SO GAY TOO YOU KNOW STOP

PEE STOP EE STOP PEE STOP PEE STOP ESS STOP YOU DO KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOING TO DIE IN THE NEXT BOOK STOP RIGHT STOP

HA HA HA HA STOP THE JOKE IS ON YOU STOP STOP SPAMMING MY COMMUNITY STOP


LAME EXCUSE FOR A DARK LORD STOP

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: rsinik
2006-07-24 12:48 am (UTC)

Me to the Mods:

DID THIS PLACE DIE STOP I'M A LITTLE DEPRESSED ABOUT ALL THAT STOP THIOS SUCKS STOP I'M GOING TO SULK NOW STOP
(Reply) (Thread)